Our Story: Reader Discretion is Advised

I will preface this blog by saying that the birth of Maggie was everything I hoped it would be. It was beautiful, peaceful (at times), magical, miraculous, awe-inspiring, and, yes, a bit painful. If I could be guaranteed that every baby I gave birth to went this way I would have as many as my dear husband would allow. With that being said, for those of you not interested in the details of our birth story you should stop here.

Those of you still with me, here you go.

My story really starts on Wednesday evening. I was only one day overdue but decided to call on my favorite acupuncturist to see if he could help stimulate labor. I saw him at 4:30pm for about an hour. Afterward, I decided that I just needed to be patient. I have known and heard stories of several women who used acupuncture as a natural method of induction with no success so I didn't want to get my hopes too high. That night Steve and I went for a long walk and decided to have a little "personal" time just in case. Well all of that worked. Thursday morning at 6am I woke up with cramping. I assumed this was nothing because I wasn't having contractions. I had been having contractions for weeks and was expecting to feel that sensation again. I laid there for about an hour feeling uncomfortable in my back and lower abdomen, but still no contractions. Around 7am I was feeling no relief, so I thought I should call one of my midwives, Angela.

ME: "Hey Angela. Sorry to bug you but I am just having this cramping feeling and it is not going away. I am not having any contractions, just these cramps."
Angela: "Okay. What do you mean your not having contractions?"
ME: "Well, you know. I have been having them for weeks and these aren't contractions this is just a crampy feeling."
Angela: "You mean you have been having Braxton Hicks for weeks, right?"
ME: "Yeah, and this is NOT the same thing."
Angela: "Well, Melissa that is because you are in labor."
ME: "What? Are you sure?"
Angela: "Yes. I am fairly certain."
ME: "But I am not having contractions."
Angela: "No Melissa. You were not having contractions before. The cramping you are feeling, THOSE are contractions."

So once she convinced me I was in labor she went on to say that I this could be a long day. I needed to take a shower or bath. Try to eat something with lots of protein. Most importantly I needed to relax and get some sleep. So Steve cleaned out the tub, made me a light breakfast, and put me to bed with a half of a Benedryl. For most of the day the contractions were pretty irregular and light. Maggie was posterior, spine to spine, so I was not surprised that most of the contractions were in my back. This is very common when a baby is sunny side up rather than the optimal position of anterior or facing away from you. I called my chiropractor who got me in to see her that afternoon to help release some of the tension. The car ride is only about 15 minutes but those were the longest 15 minutes of my life.

I already had an appointment to see my midwife that afternoon so when it was time we packed up the car and headed to the birth center just in case they decided to have me stick around. At that point my contractions were 6-7 minutes apart lasting about 45 seconds. So it was back in the car for another 15 minute ride. Did I mention I was having back labor? The worst position to be in when you have back labor is a reclined position. Angela checked me over (I was dilated to 3-4 centimeters) and listened to the baby and determined that it was still too early to be at the center. She said to go home, try to eat, try to relax, and try to sleep. She said most likely we were in for a long night. For many women labor tends to heat up in the middle of the night.

Steve and I returned home to attempt to get some sleep. From about 6pm until 11:30pm my contractions stayed basically the same. Uncomfortable but still very manageable. Around 11:30pm things started to change. My contractions were stronger and more intense. I was trying every position imaginable. Hands and knees, on the ball, squatting, and side lying. I was on the toilet when Steve decided to call Angela again. She listened thru several contractions, vomiting, peeing, and Steve's concerns for my comfort. Again, she said that it was still too early. She said that she knows we are dealing with the unfamiliar but she knew that I would be more comfortable laboring at home rather than at the birth center. From 11:30pm to 5:30am I had contractions every 4-5 minutes, lasting at least a minute. The only way I could doze was laying on my side in between contractions and then getting onto hands and knees during a contraction and rocking back and forth. Steve was a total trooper. He didn't miss one contraction, he rubbed my back and my feet. I think at one point he even brushed my hair.
At 5am I started to feel the need to push. Not strong but the need was growing. Might I remind you that I have not mentioned my water breaking. I was beginning to think that it was never going to break and I was going to be in labor forever. Steve quickly called Angela who agreed it was time to come in. She said she would meet us at the birth center and we would get things going from there. She said she would also call Laura, my other midwife, and let her know we were heading in. Steve packed up the car, got me in the back seat leaning over it facing backwards. (If any of you ever have to transport in a car while in active labor, this is the way to go)!

Once at the Alma contractions continued on the same as before. Angela checked my cervix and determined that I was 7 centimeters dilated. I got in the tub with Steve and we worked together to help ease the labor pains. I was still laboring mostly in my back so during contractions he would apply counter pressure. Around 8am Laura arrived and after consulting with me, she sent Steve off for a nap. We all agreed that he needed some energy and it could be a bit longer and if anything changed or if I needed him she would come and get him. For the next hour or so Angela and Laura worked together to make me comfortable and reassure me. They had me get in a dozen different positions and after some time Laura did another check and said I only had a tiny bit more to go. At some point, time gets fuzzy now, the urge to push became even stronger, Laura had me lay on the bed, on my back with Steve and Angela holding my legs. During a contraction she asked me to push and my water broke free, FINALLY!! They all agreed that I could push if I felt the urge. This must have been around 10:45am or 11am and the relief of being able to focus on pushing was short lived.

They didn't tell me this until after the labor was well over but during a contraction my cervix would close to 7-8 centimeters and then once it was over it would open back up to 10. So while my body was saying PUSH my cervix was saying STOP. If you try to push when you are not fully dilated your cervix can swell and cause damage and lead to slower progression of labor. Laura looked at me and said, "This is going to be very hard but you need to NOT push." She asked me to go through the contraction just breathing and only push at the peak of the contraction. This would allow my cervix to open so Maggie's head can move down. In theory this doesn't seem very difficult, in practice it was the worst part of the entire 33 hours. The discomfort of not being able to push was worse than actually pushing my daughter out, once I got there. NO JOKE. At that point she also put some evening primrose oil on my cervix to help it open.

Labor went on like this for awhile. At one point Steve asked Laura and Angela to not leave us alone anymore. Side note: The goal at ALMA is to give parents a chance to experience the birth of their baby the way they want. They never "left" us but they did allow us alone time to work together as a team. This was greatly appreciated up until we both started to feel like her arrival was getting close. So they were back in the room and Laura asked me to try to poop. This must have been around 12:30pm. I got off the bed and made my way to the toilet. I sat thru a few contractions and Laura asked if she could check my cervix. Again, no change. My cervix was still going back and forth. She could see that I couldn't do this for much longer so the decision that I will forever be grateful for was made. During contractions she literally held my cervix in place while I pushed my baby down. Steve and Angela sat beside me while Laura and I worked together to get her lower. The objective was to hold my cervix up long enough for her head to move past it, which would then keep me dilated at 10. After a couple of pushes Laura gave me a big cheer and said I had just made major progress! Maggie's head was past my cervix and if I wanted to get back in the tub now was the time. She then told me I was going to see my baby very soon. This statement gave me a renewed sense of energy. If you are counting, at this point I have been in labor for 32.5 hours. I had little to no sleep in over a day and yet I had a renewed sense of energy.

I made it back to the tub just in time for another contraction. Steve got in behind me and Laura was right next to him. Angela was in front of me holding my hands and keeping a steady lock on my eyes during the contractions. I pushed for 26 minutes. I felt everything constantly. The "ring of fire," the contractions, the relief that comes in between pushes, I even reached down and felt the soft downy of Maggie's head at one point. My response when I felt it, "THAT'S IT. I THOUGHT SHE WAS ALREADY CROWNING." Bless my midwives for laughing with me during this realization. A few short minutes later she did crown and then out came her head along with her shoulders, her arms, her tummy, her legs, and then her feet. Steve caught her as she came out and passed her thru my legs so I could see our beautiful little girl. Everything you have ever heard about that moment after you give birth is true. The pain is gone. All you feel is an overwhelming love for the tiny person in your arms. As Laura and Angela quickly checked her over and got her breathing on her own Steve and I looked at her and each other. We told each other how much we loved each other and how excited we were. It was the best moment in our married life thus far. Steve and I are so lucky to have her and we can't wait to share her with the rest of the world.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support. A HUGE thanks to my midwives Laura and Angela. My apologies to both of you if I misrepresented you in any way. Steve and I are extremely grateful for the 35 weeks of exceptional care that we received from you. There was never a moment when we doubted that you were there for all three of us. I love you both very much and feel blessed that you were a huge part in our becoming a family. We also wanted to thank Cat, Amy, and Mara. They were our doulas while we stayed at Alma and they were both helpful and a comfort.

Miss Margaret Rose Sobieszczyk

I promise to tell the whole story at some point but for now Daddy Sobie is demanding that I take a nap. For now here are a couple of our favorite shots.

Post 2. An Update

Sunday night was the worst night of my pregnancy thus far. I am nine months pregnant and really feeling it. I was having contractions all night long that were accompanied by some very painful stomach cramps, nausea, and hot flashes. I really thought I was going into labor. I slept maybe 3 hours total and woke up cranky with the world. The contractions had eased a bit so I decided to try to go to work to get my mind off of everything. I lasted about an hour and a half and then headed home. The nausea was unbearable and the contractions were about every 10-12 minutes. I realized that if I did go into more active labor I did not want to be at work. I got home slept a little and then called my midwife. She suggested acupuncture. She said I could do one of two things. Induce labor or slow it down. Inducing would, if she was ready, bring on stronger contractions and possibly have our little girl out within a few days. Slowing it down would help me sleep, reduce the nausea and hopefully reduce the frequency of the hot flashes. I chose to try induction but obviously it didn't work. Our little girl just isn't ready yet. I guess that should make me happy. She loves her mama and wants to keep me to herself for a little while longer. I am really okay with it. I am 39 weeks and have made it thru this pregnancy with very few complications.
So since Monday everything has slowed down. I am still having contractions all day but they are not as frequent or as painful. The nausea has disappeared as well as the frequent hot flashes. Now I am just back to the waiting game. I talk to her often and remind her that we are ready to meet her. I know that the end is near. I can feel it in my bones. She just needs to be ready too.

Post 1. The Biggest Rumor in Car Seat Assistance

For as long as I can remember I have been told that if you go to a Fire Station anywhere in the US of A firefighters will come out to your car and inspect your car seat installation job and assure you that you have installed it correctly. Now, I remember hearing this long before I ever became pregnant myself so I assumed it to be the truth. I assumed that you could, without your husband in tow, spend an hour with some hunky fireman while he installed my baby's car seat. Once I became pregnant the rumor spread even faster. I heard it in EVERY single baby prep class we took. So, let me be the first to tell you all that THIS IS A LIE! A BIG FAT LIE!!!! Here is the tale of how I found out.
Last Monday I decided to stop by our local firehouse and see if I could have our car seat installation approved. We have a 1999 Nissan Sentra that has none of the new fangled anchors and reinforced belt systems so I thought it especially important that we have someone check it out. Much to my surprise they turned me down.
Me: "So I have heard that you guys check out car seat installation and approve proper placement?"
Not so hunky fireman: " Yeah, No. That is a rumor. The city of Portland refuses to take on the liability so we aren't trained."
Me: "Oh. Well. I guess that is okay."
Fireman: "You could go to Tualatin and have their firemen do it. I know they are trained."
Me: "Perfect. I don't work far from there I will give them a call tomorrow."
He then proceeded to head out to my car to take a look from a fathers perspective. He unbuckled the car seat loosened the straps flipped it over and said, "Yeah, I don't know about this. I would take it out to someone who is trained."
Gee thanks.
On Tuesday I decided to call the Tualatin Valley Fire Department first to see if they would do it. In short, they don't either. No firehouse in Oregon will take on the liability of installing a car seat. In fact, they are not even trained in the installation of them. It is a lie that has been propagated by thousands of people for decades. Maybe they did at one point, I don't know, but I am here to set the record straight. Don't bother with them ladies. It is a waste of time!

4th of July Fun

Because I am only two weeks away from my due date I decided that a low key quiet 4th of July was what I needed. Every year my bother Vince and his wife Joy have a neighborhood party and this year they invited Steve and I. An added bonus was that he had his daughters, Leah and Lauren, this year which always provides added entertainment. The people were great, the food was plentiful, and the kids were a riot. The fireworks weren't too bad either. Our drive home was even fun. As we drove along 205 north we could see fireworks going off all over the valley. I didn't get too many pics but I did take a couple of me and Joy and an okay one of me and Steve. He decided at the last minute to put his hand on my belly which made him forget to smile.

Me and Joy looking pregnant and cute

The future BFF's giving their first "fist bump"

Proud Mama and Papa

Our patriotic pedicures.
What can I say, Steve loves a pedi as much as the next guy.